Friday, July 22, 2011


Between John and Spencer's comments yelling at me earlier, along with this wedding between people being stalked (which Spencer was a guest of, it seems), I've decided to take back what I said earlier;

I'll deal with the whole being Stalked thing. Ignoring it would probably get me killed anyways, so I might as well (grudgingly, mind you,) accept it.

There's one thing I'm not taking back though, and that's finding Lucian. I'll repeat what I said before; he left on his own. I don't know what's going on in his head, (if anything goes through it, I really do wonder sometimes), but it made him leave.

Besides "'protectingbyrunning'", that has to mean something, right? his own way he thinks he's helping.

That's fine with me. I'm not going to go running after someone if they don't want me to. So stop telling me to find him. Unless the words come from his own mouth (or posts, whatever,) I won't set off after him. Okay? Good.

I'm still not ready to put up in detail what happened with Daren, but I'll try working on it in small bits. Everything that happened those two weeks. Starting with what happened with Emma...

I can't think about this anymore. Damn it. Not yet.

Monday, July 18, 2011


Pretending that this doesn't exist doesn't work so well when the other person on this blog puts up a post with a link to a dead blog and you get an email notification over it.

I have no idea what he's up to, and I want no part in it.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

There was this dream I had...I just woke up and figured I should probably write this down as soon as possible, Just, wow. It....

I have no idea what this was. None. I wouldn't call this a nightmare,, I wouldn't call this scary. But this wasn't a regular dream. It was...there was just something off about it. Yeah, I said this wasn't creepy, but...there was...

I don't know. I really don't know. I should know, but I don't. What I can remember from the dream is fading. Maybe this is good, maybe..

Why is this bugging me? It was just another dream. Same as always. But...It felt strange. I just..hmm. It was different then normal. It's the only reason it's really standing out. I was dreaming but it felt like I wasn't there. It felt like...well, it did feel like a dream of mine. But I don't know. The only real thing I remember is seeing a person off in the distance. Very...very far off.

I was running to him. But no matter how fast I was running he stayed the same distance away. It was as if he was keeping the same distance from me the whole time. But he wasn't moving. I didn't see him move at all. He was just standing in some clearing. A break in the forest. It just, was...that...I don't know.

Shoot. I can hear Jennah starting to get up. What time is it? It shouldn't be late enough for anyone to be normally getting up.

Maybe her sleep pattern is weird. I don't know.

It seems I could write a very short list of things I do know.


This will all just stop. I'd give someone my left arm if it meant that this...insanity would just stop. You know what I mean?

I feel like...things will...go back to normal if I never touch this again. I'm still frustrated with Lucian. Not because he didn't tell me about Daren (well, he didn't, but that's not the point), but because he ran off like that. He got me out of there and then ran.

Does he think he's playing hero? Saving the day and flying away? I don't get it.

But he's gone.

He's....why? I don't get it. He's still posting on here.

I don't know what's running through this guy's mind.

Maybe one day this will all make sense...but for now I need to take a break.

Hopefully a permanent break. I can only hope, right?