Sunday, December 18, 2011
Kristal and Daren are on the blog now. All of her posts from http://mindsprison.blogspot.com can be found here.
Daren was right.
I can't believe I would ever say that.
I must seem so insane right now. Fuck.
I promise things will get explained by one of us when things calm down for a bit.
Just. Genesis. Jennah. Jennahsis. Needlegirl.
It was her.
Oh god it was her. He knew. We didn't.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
And he made himself clear he was following me around. What is he trying to do?
Don't want to say anything to Ray.
I'm kind of scared.
...next time I go out I'm bringing someone with me.
I hope Jennah gets home soon. Ray said he wanted to meet her...and the place will be a lot nicer with three people.
I'm going to go make some hot chocolate and try to forget about today.
What a creep.
Friday, December 9, 2011
From what I've seen from her posts she seems to not really understand what's going on.
She thinks this is a story. The whole thing is a story.
It needs to stay that way.
I made an agreement with her that I'll stay until her roommate (Jennah, I guess) gets back. Until then I'm watching to see what's happening here, because something is going on.
What interests me the most is the gap in her posts between July and September, and the sudden personality change after her resurface. But what changed? It looks like she has something messing with her. The whole thing seems odd.
She has to be connected to everything somehow. She just doesn't know.
So I'm staying until Jennah comes back. I have questions that need answers.
I saw Daren again the other day. He tried to get my attention. He mouthed something at me, but I left before he could get closer.
Daren. I know you're reading this. Now. I'll say this again. Leave me alone. At least until this is over. I know you have the whole "hurt-everyone" philosophy but I know you're not working for Him. You're still one of us, in a twisted sense. Respect that.
I declare this area Switzerland. Neutral grounds. Deal with it until this is blown over. Capiche?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
I'll try to keep the atmosphere as light as possible. Hehe. A lot of stories either ended or took a turn for the worse lately...it's kind of sad. I really liked some of the characters. Michael, Konaa, Lucas, Joel...I mean, they're not real, but it's still kind of sad seeing them go. Someone you've been watching just suddenly disappears.
Oh, gee. I'm rambling again >< I get connected to people, fictional or not. Sorry...
Jennah told me last Wednesday that she had to leave again, but I managed to convince her to stay for Thanksgiving! :3
...not totally sure how we were supposed to spend it, to be honest, but we ate turkey and all, so I think we did it right. (Jennah seemed really awkward about it. I wonder if she ever celebrated it when she was little...)
So she had to leave again Friday. D: I spent the past week moping around by myself. The place gets really creepy when you're by yourself...>.<;;; but it's okay though!
Today I went out to go get coffee (oh my god, cappuccinos are so good. @.@ like...all foamy and creamy and I had like...5 today but I want another one.) and when I was leaving the store, I noticed a kid laying in the street. He had black hair all messed up and sticking out in areas, and there were streaks of dirt running along his face. (I'll admit, it was kind of cute. Like...when a little kid goes out to play in the mud and comes back in covered in dirt cute. Maybe he was playing in the mud? Hehe), and he had these green eyes that were just kind of...stood out. Like he had been through Hell and back and was about to go back in for another round.
So naturally, I walked up to him. I guess he thought I was going to give him money? He looked at me for a second and when he realized I didn't have anything in my hands, he just growled, "what is it?".
I told him about my little situation, and how I wouldn't mind having a guest stay at the apartment. He could get cleaned up and spend his time comfortably until he figures out what he needs to do, and asked if he wanted to come.
(I know. I know. Stranger danger 101. But this kid has something to him. I can trust him. And I feel like he needs to be around somebody right now. He looks so lonely...)
He hesitated, but agreed. That was this morning. Right now he's sitting across the room from me on our other laptop, and something's on the TV. I think it's ESPN? He said using it as background noise soothes him. Heh. Alright then.
Oh, I haven't mentioned his name yet, have I? He said it was Raymond. But most people call him Ray.
Maybe this place won't be so creepy anymore. ^^
I fucking never want to hike again. Especially through woods. Never. Fucking. Again.
Do you know how paranoid I was getting? I was afraid I'd turn around and suddenly I'd be trapped in fog, trying to figure out where the hell I was, and our favorite person would appear. Or that I'd see Daren again. Or the Needle girl. Or someone/thing/whatever I haven't ran into yet. I got to the other end, and after pretending I was Frogger in a high way (if you don't get the reference, you're too young for this blog. Just saying), dashed to the other side and found I was in some downtown area outside a Starbucks and Target. I spent the day walking around, with most people thinking I was a homeless kid. (Which, I guess is kind of true? I never really thought of it that way), and kept on giving me money. I have a wad of about $175 from the past two days. People are really nice here.
Maybe I shouldn't exploit that.
Anyways, this one girl invited me back to her place to wash up and have somewhere to stay this morning. She said the person she was living with kept leaving on trips, and she spent months alone. She doesn't want to be in the place by herself, and then said "I feel like I can trust you for some odd reason. I don't know, maybe it's the layer of dirt on your face..." and I blushed. I'll fucking admit it. So I'm now sitting in the living room in her apartment, using her second computer.
Oh, right. Her name.
Her name is Kristal.
Daren, I'm going to say this right fucking now. If you're still around the area, and you're after me for some fucking reason, get the fuck away. Or at least, don't drag her in. I feel bad enough as it is, I don't want to have to deal with some psychopath dragging an innocent into all of this.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
So after that whole horror with Hope, I had been riding around with Steele, Rivers, and Alex, and with our favorite psychiatrist being pretty comatose, and Alex deciding to fall mute, it had been pretty much Steele and me talking for the past two days or so.
That is until he decided to fucking drive off without me.
Let me back up a bit.
We had made a pitstop at a gas station in Pennsylvania. because I had to take a leak and Steele decided he needed a new pack of cigarettes. (Even though he had like, I don't know, 30 packs in his glove compartment. Whatever.) So we went in. After I did some business I'm sure y'all don't want to read about I came out to meet with him before we left.
Except the 'him' I ran into wasn't Steele. It was fucking him. Daren. (Which, what the hell? He decided to make his own blogger account now?) So I did the natural thing that someone does when they run into someone who had kept you as a hostage.
I fucking bolted. Straight out the door. Into town. Almost got hit by a car, but the driver was nice enough to just swerve and flip me off before I got off the street.
So, after about an hour? Something like that, I manage to work my way back to the gas station to see that Steele had left. What the hell, man? I'm now stranded in God-knows-where-Pennsylvania. And Daren's somewhere here too.
I need to go figure out where I can sleep. I'm in a public library right now.
EDIT: Oh, "Ray was with us, but he ran off gibbering about something in Pennsylvania." Really?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Last week seems like a good place, doesn't it? Ugh.
So I had been driving around in circles for a week, right? Trying to figure out where the hell I was supposed to go, and how not to draw attention to me. Yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. I had this ingenious idea to contact Elaine to see if I could stay at Hope for a while, just to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do. She agreed, and I arrived last Friday night.
Those two days before it all got crazy were probably the best two I've had in, oh, a year? Somewhere around that. I really only talked to Elliott, the rest of the time there I was generally sleeping. (By the way, if Elliott ever offers to play the piano, take him up. The guy's a genius with that thing.)
Then David came, (do you know how tempted I am to make a "It's All David's Fault" joke? Because I really am. I can't believe how hard it is fighting off the urge.) and apparently this happened. So Shaun, Konaa, and others that were also here are slowly leaving, and I'm not sure what to do.
Honestly, I think I will stay. Elaine thought she was doing the right thing. You can't get mad at her for that. (Hell, if it was me in this situation I would have probably done the same thing.) Besides, it's nice here. Even if Hope has the same chance as everywhere else in the world, I'd rather be comfortable then out in the night, wet and cold. Call it a personal preference if you will.
Well, I think that's it. I'll post again when this 'impending attack' happens. (Though it really just seems like they're trying to bluff to scare everyone. Whatever. Guess we'll find out.)
Monday, November 21, 2011
Do you know how creepy this apartment gets at night? Well, it's even worse when you're by yourself. x.x;
(I guess what I was reading doesn't help, though. Hehe...)
Oh, god. Yeah. Turns out Jennah was checking in on the blog (Hi! :3) so she knows what I've been reading. >.>;
Oops. She didn't seem to get mad, though! She said she was 'glad I was taking the time to appreciate the authors' works." and then we started talking about them. Turns out she's been keeping up. It was a little odd discussing them, but you kind of just got to roll with it.
Turns out her favorite characters are Writer, David, and Morningstar, and she started going off on a tangent about characters like Shaun, Konaa, Hylo, Spencer, and Elaine, and how more and more of them seem to be popping up. "They're like rabbits now." she said. I guess she does have a point. Lately more and more people seem to be making blogs.
She really does seem to be a loyal fan. Hehe. :P
Then came the bad news - she said she wasn't done, and she'll probably have to leave again soon. What she was working on got put on hold because there'd been no change in the situation for about two weeks, but she doesn't know when she'll get called to leave again.
...I really need to ask her what her job is. .__.
Friday, November 11, 2011
I'm not too sure with what's going on with this, but I guess Elaine, Shaun, and Konaa are running off to go save this group of kids. I've spent the past day or so reading what they've had and I'm actually wondering how this stuff is all set up.
I know it's not really real, but I hope that they're safe. The guys are so likable. :< I hope nothing bad happens.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
It's amazing how during that one time of the year no one actually pays attention to some kid driving off in a car that may or may not be his.own. (I left a note to my family telling them to have some trust in what I'm doing, and if all goes well I'll see them again soon) But I'm tired of sitting around waiting for something to happen. If there's going to be something happening, I want to be the cause of it. Not the effect of what happens after.
I swear to god that line sounded better in my head. But I don't have too much time to think of anything cool to jot down. I'm just putting this up before I head out again. (Oh, yeah. I'm leeching off of some unsecured wifi network called "ForAdultUsage". I really don't want to know what it's for. I reaaaaaaaaaaaallly don't want to know.)
Back to what I said before. If there's going to be another standoff between me and whoever, I want to be the one with the advantage. I'm tired of hoisting up my skirt and waiting for the next person to make me their damsel in distress.
I'm not running. I'm still fighting. I'm just making the fight mobile.
It's time to make a difference.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
She told me she's probably going to be home soon. What she's working on "is finally going somewhere", as she puts it. She was complaining about how nothing had changed in the past couple of weeks, but she's excited that her trip should be over soon.
So, that's good news...but I want to ask her about the blogs I found. Should I wait until she gets back? Should I not say anything? >>;; I really have no idea what to do right now.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
After spending months living at home acting as if nothing's going on with my life, it's finally driven me to this point. I have to leave home.
After having Daren and that girl with the needles come after me at different points in time, let alone Mr. Slender, I don't want to have anyone I know be dragged into this.
The hardest part is going to be explaining this to my parents. I'm really not sure what to do. I can't just hitch up and leave, and I can't fake a death or anything, so I'm not too sure on how to execute this smoothly. Leaving everyone I know here behind to protect them. So none of this crazy shit happens.
I can't believe I'm actually saying this.
It's time to run.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Still in the house by myself. Jennah normally calls at least once every other day, but the last message I got from her was the uh...oh, the 17th? That was last Monday if I recall correctly. She sounded rushed, though. Out of breath. She said she hopefully wouldn't be gone much longer (ha, she's been gone for the past two months. Thank god there's enough money lying around so I haven't had to get a job). Sounded like she was messing with something metallic. Before she hung up I heard her curse under her breath, too. Which...is kinda odd. And that's coming from me.
Well, alright. I take back what I said earlier. I did have another one of my infamous dreams. I want to blame most of it on what I've been reading lately, because of what it had.
To be blunt it was Mr. Thin. I had this creepy dream where he was just standing in my living room, watching me be terrified as I was hiding under the couch waiting for Him to go away. This happened for Christ knows how long, and then suddenly He moved, and had a tentacle...arm...thing wrapped around me. He stared into my eyes with that blank face...and then I woke up.
So, yeah. It sounds like that was caused by what I was reading lately, so I'm not too worried about it. Dreams are dreams, right?
Monday, October 17, 2011
What the fuck.
What the fuck was that.
Shit. Okay, um.
Last night. Wonderful night last night, right? Middle of October, it was cool but not freezing-my-ass-off-cold-oh-my-god-there's-icicles-hanging-off-my-body, so I went out for a walk. Trying to forget about this piece of shit being under siege. (Hoping to wake up and have forgotten everything about the past 7 months or so, really. (Sadly, nothing. I still have all the memories that happened. Every last one of them. )) Just relaxing...
As I was heading home, I ran into this person. See, normally running into people wouldn't bother me. But this did. Because it wasn't really a friendly person. Well. I'm giving too much credit by calling what that was a 'person'. Entity? Whatever, word choice doesn't matter.
She (I assume she, at least, because, you know, breasts and all that), turned around as I was walking up.At first I thought she was just lost. And somehow I still care enough for other people to see if she was alright. It's when I got closer that I wanted to raise the white flag and duck for cover. She had bandages covering her face, and where there weren't bandages, chocolate-brown hair was hanging over it.The only thing visible was a bloodshot eye (thinking back on it, it would be her left). Alright, she may have been in an accident. She may be someone in the Halloween spirit two weeks too early, I try not to judge too early but it's kind of hard when you don't know who or what might drop out of the sky and try to kill you. My paranoia lately has distanced myself but it has it's moments.
By the time she was fully facing me I finally got a good look. She had racks of syringes hanging off the inside of the sweat jacket she was wearing. There must have been hundreds. At this point in time I was thinking "Hey, must be a drug dealer...who's been in an accident." She might have taken a drug herself, (god knows what, though. Druggie 101 wasn't a class offered at the school I went to). I tried to stay calm. There wasn't much I could do, I couldn't bolt out of there, she was standing right in front of my house. So I did what any sane person did.
"Hey" I greeted her, trying to figure out who she was and what she wanted, if it had anything to do with me. No response. She just continued to stare. It didn't even seem like it was at me though. She was just staring off into the distance. I tried again.
"Hey, miss? Uhh, Mrs.? (couldn't hurt to try, though I highly doubted she was married). Hello? Who are you? Can you hear me? Miss?" I berated her with question after question, hoping to get a response.
I got one, all right. Ohhhh boy did I get one.
She suddenly snapped her attention to me. Finally making contact, I took a step back and waited for a response.
"So the little boy finally leaves his wannabe man-cave. It took you a while." she taunted. It was true. I hadn't left the house without being with someone in a long time. Actually, ever since I got back from the hospital. So I did the next thing man kind does when approached with a difficult situation. I ran away. As fast as my legs could carry me. Unfortunately she decided she wasn't going to give up that easily.
About ten minutes later, I was leaning against the back of a tree, trying to catch my breath. (Being on the soccer team had some advantages, I guess.) and sat down, trying to be quiet. I heard a twig snap.
"Oh god, this chick is going to kill me." was what was running through my mind as I was trying to figure out where she would pop up from. In a way it was horribly amusing. I had been followed around by a tentacle freak, and a guy with a vendetta against my friend. I had been barraged with attacks left and right and got out with few scars to prove it. Yet the end was probably going to be from some psycho with a needle? It's like I was being dealt the death charge. It was my execution. "Please let it be cyanide. Cyanide is painless, right?" I shuddered, and traced along the scarred tissue that was wrecked by Daren months before on my arm. There were two cuts intersecting each other, looking like an X. Or a mutilated cross. I'm sure he found that hilarious, but it hurt like a motherfucker.. (I felt like I was being branded. Thank goodness he didn't have any ink.)
Another twig snapped. My heartbeat increased by another tenfold. This one was right behind the tree I was resting at. Trying not to make any noise - not even breathing - I slowly stood up and peered over the stump. Nothing. I must have just imagined it, right? I was tired. Tired people have hallucinations. I turned around again, just to bump into our lady of the hour.
No one has ever jumped so high in their lives. I'm pretty sure I set a world record. She had this cruel twinkle in her eyes, as if she new exactly what torment I was going through. She was having fun. I was her prey. She held up a syringe and showed me the needle. I jerked, pulling my arm away before she could get the damn thing any closer. Then because I'm so fucking stupid at times, I turned around and tripped on the root I was standing in front of. Just my fucking luck.
She took my arm by force, and pushed the needle in right where the scarred tissue intersected. Watching the metal pierce my flesh was probably not nearly as bad as how it felt. It was like liquid fire suddenly started running through my body. Oh god, it burned. And it was spreading rapidly. It was like there were flames burning inside me. I couldn't get the pain to stop, and it was making everything hard to do. Standing. Talking. Breathing. Blinking. I wanted to stop it all just to make the pain stop. I managed to sputter out
"Wha- wha- wha-...what was...th--" before I hit the ground. That was the last thing I remember. I don't know what the hell happened to me while I was out. Or what the fuck she injected me with. I woke up with "AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING THE EASY WAY OUT." written on me in what I think was sharpie.
I'm torn on what to do. It's obvious I can't stay in one area for too much longer. But I don't know what the fuck I got injected with. I can't go to a doctor about this. I can't tell anyone. But I can't just suddenly drop dead in the middle of nowhere, never to be seen again. So what should I do?
Who was that girl? I'm assuming she's connected to what's been going on on here for the past couple months or so. Hell, what if she was the person who put that little note up back in May, and not Daren? This means she's been watching me for months.
And I've done nothing but be a sitting duck. Oh god.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Which, I guess is good? But, ahh. I hate to say this, but I miss the sleep. Haha.
Alright. I've finished half the list. Let's finish the rest~ >:3 I wonder what I'm supposed to be saying to these people...there's no way this can be real, right? Yet everyone is acting like they are.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Jennah took off last week. Said it was a business trip. Pff, whatever. I highly doubt a..uhh...come to think of it I have no idea what her job actually is. Huh. Oops.
ANYWAYS~ I've been holding down the fort, and I've been doing a good job if I say so myself~. Oh, yeah! "Kris, you're so much chipper (haha, chipper. I need to start using this word more often.) now! What happened?" you're probably thinking...weeeeell...I guess you could say I got bored of just sitting around moping, hoping to suddenly wake up and have my head full of memories and eggs. Scratch the last part. I mean, trying to hunt around in ways to find my past is only going to hurt me, so why not just ride with the flow and see what happens down the road? I can't get stuck on this forever. Besides, it's boring just moping around.
So, yeah. Nothing's really happened. Occasional dream that creeps me out, nothing new. Then I can barely remember it when I wake up. Oh, yeah! I was snooping around Jennah's computer (what. I got bored. Sorry.) and found a window open with like...fifteen different blogs. Oh, I took a screencap, hold on, it's somewhere around here.
I'm not taking any of this shit. If you want me, come get me you little fucker. If I ever catch sight of your damn annoying ass I'm kicking it to Thailand. Hear me? Back the fuck off or you'll be on the ground before you can beg for your shitty little life.
Because if I ever catch sight of you you're
nice why Remember
that's do P scars
now W L ?
Raymond very fight E
is you L E
This a E your
dead. Fucking dead. You will spend your last moments begging for the shithole called your life.
Lucian, if I found this was you trying to be funny I swear to god you're a dead man.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
why there W
hello Do H
finally getting O
You how NOT ACCEPT?
Well, nothing more then normal. I'd try to send out a post; it wouldn't go out. Same as what happened last time. So I changed the password just a couple minutes ago, literally right before I started this post. So yeah, I think I'll actually be able to update this little thing for all you guys who get a sick enjoyment out of reading this. Alert the press! I'm not dead!
I have no idea how many of you are disappointed by that, but here you go. I'm here. Nothing should be stopping anymore. It's just me vs. Him from here on out. The only help I had ran off without really saying anything. Whatever, though, right? Haha. It's like we're not fucked anyways! Maybe Daren had the right approach.
Of course, I'm just kidding. I may be slowly morphing into an asshole, but I'm not a psychopathic asshole. Not yet, at least.
Alright, that's it for now. I'm sure you all are happy to see this pop up in your feed. At least someone's happy about this thing. Off to sleep for me now. I'm exhausted.
EDIT: Oh what the fuck is this.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I've made a couple of posts over the past couple weeks and have set them up to post, and when I check back later the post is either saved back into the drafts or just deleted.
I'd like to think this is just the host site screwing things up like it has before, but it just seems weird. Color me paranoid, I guess.
I would like to think I have every reason to be paranoid, though.
EDIT: That was the third time I had to try and publish this post.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
8/21/11 - In my rush to put this up I accidentally clicked "Save Now" instead of "Publish". So here you go.
8/21/11 - EDIT: Apparently the end part didn't get saved? I'll rewrite it and put it up later. Tonight, hopefully.
I'm putting this up. This needs to go up. I don't want it to go up, though. But it has to. So I'll try to suck it up and post up this monster. I don't know how long it will take me though. I can't dwell on the memory for too long. It hurts. It's something I hope I can forgot.
Ironically me talking about not dwelling on the memories is making me focus on them. Oh well. Let's just get this started. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can -- hm, not actually sure what I can do once this is out.
So I last left off at looking for Emma. I hope you all remember her, and my crisis didn't take the attention away from her. It really doesn't matter now, I'll get to her later. You don't need to worry about her. (Which I'm sure you're not. This is all some thing to keep you entertained, right? Reading this just lets you guys forget all your problems, even if it's just for a few minutes-- I'm getting off topic. I'll save my rant for later. Otherwise we'll be here all day, and I just know you don't want that to -- okay, okay. Moving on.)
Yeah. Something I was originally afraid to put up on this post was actually meeting Daren for the first time. He acted differently in public then he did when it was just the two of us. When he was in front of everyone else he acted punk like, but was still civilized and such. When we where alone he snapped. I had no idea who he was, and I was pretty much kept in the dark until that god damn conversation on the audio tape. You know, the one where Lucian promised to put it up then didn't put up the whole thing to save his ass? Yeah, that one.I was kept completely in the dark. I thought that this was the creep who kidnapped Emma, (and possibly killed her), and he was planning to do this to me as well. I originally assumed he had no connection to Lucian, no connection to Mr. No Face, but of course everything's connected back to that monstrosity. I really should have expected it. Ignorance isn't always a blessing.
After we split into a group of two Monday night he led me into the woods and put a knife up against my throat. He laughed, then whispered into my ear "If you can't forget about that brat, you're dead." I assumed he meant Emma. I had no idea that by brat he meant Lucian. How was I supposed to know? So trying to figure out how to get out of the position I was in, I just said okay, and he left. Or at least, he looked like he was about to. He then suddenly whipped around, and added on to his list of vague demands with "Oh yeah, you better forget that piece of shit you call a blog as well. If I see you updating it, you're dead." Okay. That one wasn't as vague. If you had just had a knife pressed to your throat you would have also been dazed, admit it. I simply nodded, and left as quick as I could.
I wrote this when I got back. I didn't mean to publish it, though, it was supposed to be a draft. Seeing that it was out there on the web, I tried to edit what it originally said into a "real update tomorrow" type thing you see some people do. In my head, though, I was just going "imdeadimdeadimdeadimdead". So I wrote this, leaving out those important details hoping it would save my ass. No such luck, as all of you are aware.
I spent the next day out of the house and moving around, trying not to stay in one area for too long. After I thought I was in the all clear, something knocked me out from behind. (Remember, folks. If you're hiding from a psychopathic slenderstalked, try to stay around a lot of people. It helps.) The next memory I have is what happened in these posts. I learned Daren was the figure I saw the night that I first saw Mr. Pale in the fog. Which means he's been here the whole time. The thing is, he's not a proxy. The fact that another Stalked is out there killing others without being affiliated with Slendy baffles me.
In retrospect, I guess it makes sense. Killing off other Stalked to buy yourself more time to continue to live. It's just not rational reasoning. He said so himself that he has nothing to live for now. He needs help more then anyone, but he's too blind to see it. He needs to calm down. I think after spending a week berated by the guy, I'm allowed to give my opinion. He's lonely. He doesn't want to admit it, though. So now he's trying to literally cut off everything that has that's related to someone else. He's trying to get Lucian to suffer from the same pain, and I'm the target. Yay? Not really. Anyway, I don't have time to be Mr. Psychological Disorder Diagnoser or whatever.
There's not much else to say. I spent the next week and a half drifting in between reality and dream land. I think he had me drugged on something, either that or my brain couldn't handle the state my body was in. There's something fishy behind that by itself, and I'll get to that later. I just...I healed a lot faster then I should have from when I got "rescued" per say to getting to the hospital.
EDIT: Alright, so, I don't know if this is blogger fucking with me or what, but the last part of this post that went into detail about my week while I was being held hostage is gone. I'm going to try and get it up later today. If not tonight, some time this week. I know you little buggers will be looking forward to it.
Friday, July 22, 2011
I'll deal with the whole being Stalked thing. Ignoring it would probably get me killed anyways, so I might as well (grudgingly, mind you,) accept it.
There's one thing I'm not taking back though, and that's finding Lucian. I'll repeat what I said before; he left on his own. I don't know what's going on in his head, (if anything goes through it, I really do wonder sometimes), but it made him leave.
Besides "'protectingbyrunning'.blogspot.com", that has to mean something, right? He...in his own way he thinks he's helping.
That's fine with me. I'm not going to go running after someone if they don't want me to. So stop telling me to find him. Unless the words come from his own mouth (or posts, whatever,) I won't set off after him. Okay? Good.
I'm still not ready to put up in detail what happened with Daren, but I'll try working on it in small bits. Everything that happened those two weeks. Starting with what happened with Emma...
I can't think about this anymore. Damn it. Not yet.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
I feel like...things will...go back to normal if I never touch this again. I'm still frustrated with Lucian. Not because he didn't tell me about Daren (well, he didn't, but that's not the point), but because he ran off like that. He got me out of there and then ran.
Does he think he's playing hero? Saving the day and flying away? I don't get it.
But he's gone.
He's....why? I don't get it. He's still posting on here.
I don't know what's running through this guy's mind.
Maybe one day this will all make sense...but for now I need to take a break.
Hopefully a permanent break. I can only hope, right?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Which was boring, but there was something kind of strange afterwards. I wouldn't have taken any notice of it if it wasn't for Jennah's reaction.
I still don't really get the big fuss, but it was a bit strange. I was...afraid, I guess you could say. Not exactly sure, I'm still sort of dazed, but....I don't know.
After we left, there was this bum kid on the street. He had to have been sixteen. Seventeen tops. He had this really messy blonde hair, I almost thought it was white when I first saw him, and it covered the left side of his child-like face.
I know I said he was probably sixteen, but his face made him look twelve. His eyes were wide in what seemed like fear, and they weren't focused on anything. I don't even think he knew we were there. His eyes were these pretty crystal blue color, too. They looked so innocent, but the glimmer of life that should have shone in them was missing...
Now, I said it seemed he had no idea we were there. At least, he had no idea I was there. Jennah tried to duck as soon as she saw whoever the kid was, but he seemed to lock onto her presence instantaneously. He made some sort of noise, perhaps he said a word. I'm not sure, I didn't hear. I just saw his lips move. Jennah then pulled me along, and said to keep moving.
I want to go back and see if I can find that kid again, but he looked like he was half dead. I doubt he's going to last much longer. I feel bad, but I don't. I can't start being sympathetic for other people before sorting my own stuff out.
Okay. I staggered this post a bit because I'm hoping by now Ray has been able to get up and put a post up about what happened. Or I somehow miraculously did. Something along those lines. If neither of us have...well...I don't know. Maybe one of us got up something, hopefully?
So I had woken up with dried blood covering most of my face, (from me profusely bleeding, I assumed).
I, uh. I was...um. I don't know what I was. You know how I was when Ray first found me? That was...like...the first time it ever happened, I guess. It was coming on slowly, though. I was still...mostly in control of myself. Ugh.
I...can't seem to handle the guilt. So I mentally begin to shut down. I guess. I don't know...I don't know how to really describe it. I guess...I guess it's because...well. I...to think I did this. I did this. I just..I don't know. How am I supposed to explain it?
Maybe I'm really crazy. Well, no. Uh. I am crazy. But only so
I can't explain this. I physically and mentally do not know how to explain this.
Okay. So...whatever happens, it started. Slowly. I didn't notice anything happen at first. It had started off slow. It didn't bother me at all. It took a while for it to get as bad as it happens now.
I...wasn't sure what I should do. So I just...I walked. I would walk for two to three days at a time before the urge to pass out started overwhelming me. Whenever I woke up I would be in a worse state then when I fell asleep. It...agh. It's torture.
I was being tortured. By Him. Everywhere I looked, He was there. I was confused. I wanted to be left alone. I still do. It...agh.
I really don't know what was going on. The pain...
Daren. I would see Daren. He was different. His eyes looked soulless. I had no idea what he was doing. Every time I ran into him it ended the same; he would attack me and I would pass out, waking up who knows when.
I wanted to die. My life was a living hell. It still is...except.
This is when I ran into Ray. It was an accident. There was an empty house, and I took refuge in it for a night. Ray saw me leave once or twice. I didn't know he was a student that was on Spring Break. I didn't know I'd drag him into this. Hell, I couldn't think straight. I just tried to play along as best as I could. Then I got pulled into his school.
I had no idea what I was doing there. There were...so many people around me. I..just followed Ray around, pretending we somehow got the same classes. I was never on the rollcall, I would just try to pass it off as a technical error. As best as I could. I tried to keep up the image...
Then those kids disappeared. Ray's school was shut down. I was planning to take off before he dragged me into the woods. God the woods.
I've never seen that mist before. At least, not when it was relating to Him. I don't know why it happened. I...don't get it. At all. I had also never seen Him be related to fire before that one incident. It hasn't happened since.
I don't really need to explain anything else. Everything that's happened is already on here. I...
I feel like I'm putting on a show for someone sick and twisted. Are you all entertained by this?
...I just don't get it.
Ray, once you read this, I'll be gone. Maybe if I leave everything going on with you will stop.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
This thing started because of a stupid English project, and somehow along the line I got sucked into this mess. Why?
Lucian's gone. He took off. He left a (barely legible) note saying that I'd be safer without him around on my bedroom window last week. I don't know where he is right now. I don't want to know.
But yeah. This thing. I don't even know why I'm updating this anymore.
Maybe if I stopped writing this would just stop. Everything would go back to normal.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Have you ever felt like you're just a puppet, with someone else pulling the strings?
Have you ever felt like you're a dim light be smothered in the darkness around you?
Have you ever been beaten into unconsciousness and wake up, just to have it happen again?
Have you ever been so fucking dumbfounded you don't know what to say?
Have you ever felt so useless you don't know what to do?
I keep pinching myself to see if I'll wake up from this dream.
It's not working.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Nightmares, though. They leave you awake with your heart pounding, and a cold sweat covering your body as you try to recollect what just happened. Sometimes you can, but most of the time the fragments slip through your fingers and you're left wondering what left you shaken up so badly.
Then there's always that one horror that's created in the depths of your brain. It haunts you. It keeps it's claws around you throat, waiting for the chance you make the wrong move, and pop, you're dead. Insecurity. Fear. Terror. Guilt. Sorrow. Shame. It feeds on negative feelings, growing stronger while you're just trying not to screw up in life.
Dreams can be horrifying. Yet there's the good ones to. The ones that make you not want to ever wake up. The ones that make you think that you don't suck and you actually belong somewhere. It's paradise. But it's just a tease, because eventually you will wake up, and whatever you dreamed will just float away into borderline nonexistence, buried somewhere in the dark gallows of the brain. Lost forever, until it suddenly decides to pop back up again. And again. And again. Every time you think you're closer to achieving something it's yanked away from you at last second.
Yet people need to sleep. If you don't, you die. It's not fair, is it? Either die or be teased while you're able to live.
Now, take me. I can't remember anything. How do I sort the shards of what I can recollect together? I can't.
But the answer's hidden in there somewhere...
And you wonder why people say "life sucks".
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Right now I...uhh, hopefully found Ray. I'm probably not going to be in a good condition, though. I...I should be fine. I don't matter, though. As long as I got Ray out of this mess I pulled him into. At least...for now. I owe him this much.
God knows I'm sorry.
I need to post this up while I can still...think. This doesn't make sense to you all. It probably hasn't. I'm hoping after this it will.
Okay. So, um. Oh, jeez...
I met Daren, almost a year and a half ago now? That sounds right. It wasn't too long ago. He wasn't the way he is now. I...I wasn't the way I am now.
Daren and Tanya found me asleep in the streets of a town in Arkansas. They took me to Daren's house. I was...oh god. I was 15 then? Daren was 16 and Tanya was 17.
When I woke up they were both staring at me. It was odd. Daren had this hardened expression, waiting to see how I'd react. I could pretty much feel him staring at me before I opened my eyes.
Tanya, on the other hand...
Tanya radiated comfort. All the fear I had, the urge to run as soon as my eyes opened, was gone. I...I can't explain it. It just disappeared. Daren noticed me staring at her, and the hostility in his glare increased by a tenfold.
They asked what I was doing. I didn't know how to respond. Daren tried to force the information out of me. Tanya got him to stop, and they left me alone for a bit. I was told I was allowed to stay and rest, but to not try anything fishy.
I had noticed that anywhere I was cut had bandages covering them. I was confused, but Tanya had explained that she noticed I was bleeding. She had put them on before I had woken up. She figured that it was better to put them on while I was passed out, that way I wouldn't shout in pain. Apparently a lot of the cuts were infected. I didn't care too much then.
Daren spent time talking to me, his default glare had started to soften. He noticed that I seemed to not be...very, well. I didn't have civil habits. He just figured I was some bum kid. That didn't really stop him from treating me normally though. God knows how grateful I was for that.
He talked about Tanya a lot. It turned out they had given each other promise rings a year ago and were waiting for the day they both turned 18. They were best friends growing up and eventually fell in love each other. I found it rather amusing that Daren was a romantic. He didn't seem the type.
I spent about half a month before telling them anything. Tanya had pushed this time. I had decided it would be okay to tell them. I begged them not to think I was crazy.
I told them everything.
I told him about this Slenderman. I didn't know His name at the time, but I tried explaining it as best as I could. How I've been on the run for....I don't even know how long. Days, weeks, even months blurred together as one very long Hell.
Tanya believed me. At least, she pretended to. Daren, on the other hand...he didn't believe me. He didn't say it, but from the look on his face I could tell. He thought I was crazy. Well, I AM crazy. But...I was less crazy then. Ugh.
So...I was allowed to stay. I eventually started helping Daren out with the work his parents had him do. I didn't really understand the schoolwork other then writing. I helped Tanya when she asked for it. I was actually happy. I felt like I belonged somewhere. I had friends.
Of course, that had to change.
One day Daren and Tanya brought up what I had mentioned to them earlier. Him. They said they had strange dreams that involved what I described. I was actually pretty scared then. The night before I had dreamed that one of them had encountered Him. It wasn't made clear who, in fact it was just a shadow of a figure. However...
I knew it had to be one of them. It was a gut feeling. A very strong gut feeling. I didn't mention it to either one of them, and they asked to go looking around outside, and that I'd come with them. I agreed. I had to. I didn't know what else to do.
God knows how much I wished I could have stopped them....How much I wish I could turn back time and stop us from going out. It would have saved Tanya. It would have saved Daren. It would have even saved Ray. I'd never have met him.
Tanya, Daren, and I split up outside the nature trail we were at. I mentioned that most of my encounters were in areas with trees. They thought it would be a good idea to start there.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god...
I smelled smoke. Trying to figure out where it was coming from, I was shouting at Daren and Tanya. I could hear Daren shouting.
What made me even more nervous was the fact I couldn't hear Tanya.
It was then I heard a scream. A mutilated scream. I ran to where it had come from, and I couldn't comprehend what was going on.
He was there. So was Tanya. So was the fire. I don't know how he did it, but the flames were kept at a certain distance, it was burning in what looked like a perfect circle. That didn't strike me as odd though, at least...not at the moment.
Tanya's blood was all over the place. Her blood-matted hair was over her dull eyes. She looked like she didn't even recognize I was there. He hadn't noticed me yet, either. I panicked. I shouted for Daren. I shouted at myself to wake up.
Don't ever, ever shout when you're in proximity with Him and he hasn't noticed you. He turned his attention to me. It was...just...
He turned his attention back to Tanya. There were...tentacles. I heard a crunch, and saw Tanya's splintered bone being pulled off of her. He was tearing her arm off. She...she didn't even scream. She...wasn't unconscious, but she was so close to being gone. I was about to be sick.
This is when Daren ran in. He froze as soon as he saw what happened. He didn't see that Tanya was now missing an arm, and ran over to her and Him. He tried to pry Him off of her, only to be sent flying back as soon as he got close.
He disappeared. I don't know how, but He disappeared. Tanya's body fell to the floor, and Daren ran over to her. He was crying. He spent almost six hours bent over her corpse. I just stood there the whole time. I walked up to him to try and comfort him, and I saw the total damage.
She was burned. Horribly burned. Her flesh wherever He touched her was burned even worse. It looked like half of her face had melted into her skull. Her hair was had blood crusted in it. It seemed wherever she wasn't burned she had blood covering her. The shoulder to the arm that got ripped off was already decomposing. I don't know how it was happening that fast.
Tanya's promise ring was her other arm, and Daren gently slid it off. He put it on over his own, and stood up.
It seemed his whole physical appearance had changed. The way he carried himself. He didn't have the flicker of innocence and affection that would penetrate his glare at times. It was like a puppy had transformed into a wolf. It was...he...he spoke for the first time. Five words. "This is your fucking fault."
He was right. It was. I was guilty. For everything. I started crying. He went hysterical. He snarled at me, telling me how I didn't have the right to cry. I didn't know Tanya. I didn't know him. He said he should kill me right then and there. He punched me in the face. I was knocked backwards. He kicked me in the stomach, and I shouted. He kept smashing my head into the ground, and I could feel myself losing consciousness.
Then he stopped. I was on the verge of passing out. He picked me up by my shirt and snarled into my ear. "You don't deserve to die. Not yet. Not until you go through what I'm fucking going through right now."
One sentence. That one sentence was the last thing I heard before he dropped me. I passed out, (at least, I'm assuming I passed out), before I hit the ground.
I need to take a break. I'll submit this to go at the time it's set to, but I need to clear my head. I can't think straight.
But this needs to be told.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Agh. Um...okay. This...this is really personal. I didn't want anyone to know this. I...was horrified that Ray was told...
Oh god, Ray. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
D: Yeah, as if I'll answer your questions. Nice try, apeshit. Now...you should know your friend's history. Especially with me. It's his damn fault. His fault for everything.
R: What do you mean 'his fault'. What did Lucian do?
D: It's his goddamn fault for everything. EVERYTHING.
R: You keep saying th
D: Shut the fuck up.
D: He...he killed Tanya...
D: Tanya was my world. She was everything to me...Then that bastard killed her.
R: Look, Daren. Calm down.
D: SHUT UP. (there's a loud thud.)
D: Tanya was everything to me. Do you know what it's like to suddenly feel like a part of you got ripped out, taken away forever?
D: It's the worst goddamn feeling in the world. There's nothing there. You suddenly feel like you're empty inside.
R: Y...you're...calm down. You're getting hysterical.
D: FUCKING SHUT UP. (there's heavy breathing, and then about 30 seconds of silence.)
D: ...so I'm doing what I have to do. I'm making sure she can rest in peace.
D: For every person I kill...she's closer to being at peace...
R: A...and this is why you want Lucian?
D: Of course. It only makes sense. But he can't die. Not yet. He has to be tortured. Like I was. Only when he's gone through the madness I'll kill him.
D: I got to thank you though, apeshit. I didn't think he talked with anyone. Every time I ran into him he would mutter about how he can't get close to anyone.
R: God damn...that's what he...that's what he meant.
D: So this is a test. If he actually cares about your life, he'll come after you. If not...well, you better hope you lived a good life. You know, before he came into it.
I...I didn't...his memory of it...it's warped.
Daren, i....if there's any chance....
No, forget it. I don't...I don't know you anymore.
Ray, I'm coming after you. As soon as this goes up, I'm finding you.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
She also told me that I used to have them all the time. Really bad ones. I’d wake up and wouldn’t be able to say anything to anyone for a couple of hours. I ‘was too scared’, she said.
I don’t know what I’d be screaming about. I’m finding this frustrated; why can’t I remember? I remember the few dreams I’ve had since I’ve woken up this past six months.
Monday, June 6, 2011
I still have no idea where Ray is. But...I know he's alive. It's a gut feeling. I think I know what happened to him...
“Keep your eye out for a sign.”
...The first thing that came across my mind was “What the hell is this supposed to mean?”
So I went out again looking for anything that would help. (Which...wasn't a good idea to go out alone. I don't know the area. I got lost for most of last night.)
Well, um. I found something. Something...it was one of those voice recorder things. I don't know technical terms, but. The thing was taped onto the back of a stop sign with the letter “L” spray painted onto the back. “Keep your eye out for a sign.” I figured this was what Ray...er, the person on his account was talking about.
It took me a while, but I finally got the thing to play. And, um. It was....it wasn't good. At least, it didn't sound good...
Looking back at more of Ray's posts, I'm assuming this was his. But, uh...I'll let you read what I transcribed.
?: Brat. Wake up. (There's about a thirty second pause before) DON'T TEST ME. WAKE THE FUCK UP. (The sound of something be hit can be heard, followed by a scream.)
?: Shut up and listen.
R: wha...you. You're....what's what's going on? (there's another thud, and Ray shouts again.)
?: You don't listen well. I said shut the fuck up, apeshit. We're making a little recording for that friend of yours.
R: How do you know Lucian?..
?: So many questions...so many questions...(another thud is heard.)
R: St..(he can be heard gasping for air.) stop kic...kicking me.
?: Shut up. It's just one command. You have issues listening. I will gag you if you won't stop your jabbering.
?: Now. How much of Lucey's past do you know?
?: The one and only.
R: Well..not much. He's stalked by this...Slenderman thing and he suffers...bouts of...insanity?
?: Heh. That's all he's said? (there's about a two minute pause)
R: ...well. Yeah.
?: And he just found out that there are other people being stalked by this guy?
R: ...why do you want to know?
?: Shut up. (another thud, I'm assuming it was a kick again.) If you don't answer my questions, I can use the bone in your arm to impale you.
R: ..sorry. Yeah. He foun...wait. Was the person I saw that night you?
?: You complicated things, asshat. I wasn't expecting anyone else to show up.... (another thud.)
?: Yeah, as if I'll answer your questions. Nice try, apeshit. Now...you should know your friend's history. Especially with me. It's his damn fault. His fault for everything.
(the audio on the tape is messed up for the next twenty minutes. When it comes back the other person is speaking again.)
?: Now, isn't that just great to hear? That fuckface destroys everything he comes in contact with. It's his fault I've been running for the past year. It's his. Damn. Fault.
R: ...Daren..why do you need me?
Daren: Because. You're close to that piece of shit. It will torment him. Either he saves you and goes into another crazy fit, or you die and he stays sane, knowing what happened. It's his decision. (the recorder is presumably picked up, because the next line is much louder.)
D: Lucey, I hope you're hearing this. You've heard what I said. Either you come find me and rescue your little pal, or he dies. Your decision. I'll keep him alive for a week, but he won't be comfortable. (another thud, and Ray howls in pain again.)
D: Tick tock. Time is running out. (Ray starts coughing.)
(the audio ends.)
...I don't know how he found me. I, uh, thought I had covered up my tracks. I would have guessed it was this damn blog, but Daren...he didn't know.
Ray...I'm sorry. For...everything that's happened.
Daren...I know you'll be reading this. If I ha...had known that this would happen to you...I wouldn't have ever...talked to you.
Please let Ray go. It's not his fault this happened to you...