This post was written on Friday, June 10th, 2011 at 4:56 AM. It is preset to be published on Monday, June 27th, 2011 at 3:12 AM.
Okay. I staggered this post a bit because I'm hoping by now Ray has been able to get up and put a post up about what happened. Or I somehow miraculously did. Something along those lines. If neither of us have...well...I don't know. Maybe one of us got up something, hopefully?
So I had woken up with dried blood covering most of my face, (from me profusely bleeding, I assumed).
I, uh. I was...um. I don't know what I was. You know how I was when Ray first found me? That was...like...the first time it ever happened, I guess. It was coming on slowly, though. I was still...mostly in control of myself. Ugh.
I...can't seem to handle the guilt. So I mentally begin to shut down. I guess. I don't know...I don't know how to really describe it. I guess...I guess it's because...well. I...to think I did this. I did this. I just..I don't know. How am I supposed to explain it?
Maybe I'm really crazy. Well, no. Uh. I am crazy. But only so
I can't explain this. I physically and mentally do not know how to explain this.
Okay. So...whatever happens, it started. Slowly. I didn't notice anything happen at first. It had started off slow. It didn't bother me at all. It took a while for it to get as bad as it happens now.
I...wasn't sure what I should do. So I just...I walked. I would walk for two to three days at a time before the urge to pass out started overwhelming me. Whenever I woke up I would be in a worse state then when I fell asleep. It...agh. It's torture.
I was being tortured. By Him. Everywhere I looked, He was there. I was confused. I wanted to be left alone. I still do. It...agh.
I really don't know what was going on. The pain...
Daren. I would see Daren. He was different. His eyes looked soulless. I had no idea what he was doing. Every time I ran into him it ended the same; he would attack me and I would pass out, waking up who knows when.
I wanted to die. My life was a living hell. It still is...except.
This is when I ran into Ray. It was an accident. There was an empty house, and I took refuge in it for a night. Ray saw me leave once or twice. I didn't know he was a student that was on Spring Break. I didn't know I'd drag him into this. Hell, I couldn't think straight. I just tried to play along as best as I could. Then I got pulled into his school.
I had no idea what I was doing there. There were...so many people around me. I..just followed Ray around, pretending we somehow got the same classes. I was never on the rollcall, I would just try to pass it off as a technical error. As best as I could. I tried to keep up the image...
Then those kids disappeared. Ray's school was shut down. I was planning to take off before he dragged me into the woods. God the woods.
I've never seen that mist before. At least, not when it was relating to Him. I don't know why it happened. I...don't get it. At all. I had also never seen Him be related to fire before that one incident. It hasn't happened since.
I don't really need to explain anything else. Everything that's happened is already on here. I...
I feel like I'm putting on a show for someone sick and twisted. Are you all entertained by this?
...I just don't get it.
Ray, once you read this, I'll be gone. Maybe if I leave everything going on with you will stop.