Friday, June 10, 2011


I’m starting to remember one or two things.

It’s not “alert the medics” worthy, but while I’ve been dreaming I’ve been getting glimpses of what I would assume is my childhood. I can see my parents taking me to my first day of kindergarten. Them celebrating one of my birthdays. Things like that.

I feel like it’s a tease, though. I get stuff like that but when I try to remember more, there’s nothing. My head is taunting me. Even the few memories I can remember I feel like I’m not seeing the whole thing. Almost as if my mind is physically blocking the memory. Maybe I repressed them?

The thought of me repressing them is actually scary, because what if I don’t want to find out who I was then? What if I was some serial killer, or an arsonist? Or something that could get me arrested. In fact, what if the only reason they didn’t take me off the plug while I was in a coma was because they needed me to stand on trial? They couldn’t try me now; not when I don’t remember anything.

Jennah’s told me to calm down, but I really can’t. The fact that my head is empty terrifies me.

I want to be normal.

Doc, anyone at the hospital. Are you reading this? Is there something you’re not telling me? Am I just being extremely paranoid?

I feel like I'm going to go crazy before I find out who I was.

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